Torn

For the last few months I have been working on a revision outline for one of my stories. To do this, I have analyze character arch development and reviewed the plot, using ideas I found in a book about writing. This has been a fun exercise.  In doing so, I've tried to keep the same story, but design plans to develop better characters and a more moving plot. Now that I have completed a new outline of the story, however, I have spent some time trying to revise the beginning. Now I am wondering if I should just free write the new version of the story and then go back and revise. The problem is that I still want to use the old material and I find myself editing it instead. Also, I wonder if I am still emotionally invested with the story or if I am just trying to finish it. That's whee my writing stands, although not much has happened the last two weeks because my sister graduated and my other sister got married, and life keeps happening! Well, of course it does. 

With all the other projects I have right now, I think that if I want to keep writing, I need to set a time again each day to do so.  Once I have a goal, I will write about it.  Until then. 

Over the last few months I haven't written a lot, but I have undertaken a couple of different activities to help improve my writing.

For starters, I took a class offered by Community Ed here in DesMoines in order to begin the process of familiarizing myself with the YA/Middle Grade scene in the city.  This class was mostly review from prior classes and conferences that I have attended.  However, it was helpful to be reminded!  Plus I got to meet some of DesMoines' writers and found out about DAWG (DesMoines Area Writer's Group), which I have attended once and found that it would be nice to attend again in the future.  I hope to go to the next meeting this week.  The teachers of the class also suggested we read books about writing, so I found a book at the library and began reading it.  This was probably more helpful than the class, and I will likely look it over again in the future.

Also, I have been trying to read more, not just for pleasure but to analyze the story elements of the story.  Recently, I read halfway through a book, but the story wasn't compelling enough for me to want to keep reading.  The voice of the character initially caught my interest; I enjoyed the author's style.  However, the reason I put the book down was because the main character and her main love interest weren't original enough (think of all the stories where the girl falls in love with a boy who is already taken) and the main character behaved in a way at times that didn't seem realistic to me.  What it boiled down to for me was that I didn't like either of them, and I didn't care about them.  Especially not the guy she was in love with; he just seemed like the macho man with good looks.

This week, I finished a book. The author did a great job developing her world and used each scene to help develop the overall plot.  However, there were many things she did that weakened her story.  First, in only a few scenes, she abruptly switched perspectives away from the main character; the first time this happened, the perspective change was completely unnecessary to the overall plot. Also, it happened so rarely that when it did happen, I was thrown off.  Second, character development for the main character was weak; as I read through the book, it was hard for me to describe what the main characters were like.  Third, the ending was disappointing; the main character did very little to solve the ultimate problem she walked herself into; instead, all the side characters, including an adult, stepped in to save the day.

Now, I've started reading another book.  So far, the pretense of the story has caught me.  But already, I am picking out areas where the story could have been improved: cut out the prologue; cut out the extra narrative and dialogue scenes that bog down the story;  imagery is great except when you're being overloaded with it

I ponder the pros and cons of these stories as I read them with the knowledge that my own writing needs a lot of work, and there's a reason these books are published.  Lately, I have been working on a serious revision of one of the books I finished, trying to apply the things I have learned about character development and plot.  It has been fun to looker closer at plot and character and revise scenes to make a stronger story.  Right now I am closely looking at each scene to see how it supports both the character arch of the main character as well as the overall plot.  By doing this, I feel that I have a stronger story.  Now, once done, all I have to do rewrite and revise and edit.

Folktale

One more post for today!  Wow, twice in one day.  The unit I taught combined reading folktales, learning about conflict and theme, and writing.  The students were to write a folktale, and many of them did a very good job--probably better than the one I wrote.  However, for your reading pleasure, here is my folktale:

Squirrel’s Rushed Day

                Not so long ago, in a grove of oak trees along the ridge of a hill, Squirrel dwelt with his family.  Since Squirrel had stayed up late the night before, he snoozed all morning and gave himself little time to get ready for the day.  It was harvest time, and Head Squirrel needed help gathering nuts.  The more he gathered, the greater the likelihood he’d get a bonus! 

Mama Squirrel had baked all morning to prepare him and his brothers and sisters a scrumptious meal.  They all sat together, laughing, and enjoying the tasty nut bread.  “Sit down and eat with us,” Mama Squirrel said.

But Squirrel just grabbed an apple wedge and said, “Sorry.  Gotta go.”

Mama Squirrel watched him go, shaking her head.  She uttered, “He’s soon going to be hungry.”

Squirrel dashed down the steep hill.  When he reached the black road, he rushed across it and almost got hit by the silver monster that roared past. 

As Squirrel scurried across the open green, his best friend the Mole called out.  “Squirrel!  I found a fabulous treasure!  I dug a hole and there it is, but I am not strong enough to pull it out.  Can you help me?”

Squirrel paused just for a second and then ran backwards.  He called out.  “I am way too busy right now.  Maybe later.” 

                Without waiting to hear Mole’s response, Squirrel leapt down a gradual slope and reached the forest of acorns.  Head Squirrel waited with his collection bags.  “Bring back two hundred, and I’ll send you home with a bag full.”

                “That won’t even be hard.”  Squirrel climbed, leapt, and gathered nut after nut after nut.  He was doing very well.  He could just imagine what he trade the nuts for.  First he’d meet up with Mouse at the Rabbit’s Cool Down, just like they’d planned, and he would get them both a Raspberry Juicy.  He’d be the one getting the drinks this time instead of bumming off one from Mouse! 

                The faster he went, the faster he would be done, and the faster he would get there and surprise Mouse.

                But as the day went on, he got hungrier and weaker.  Still, he tried to go as fast as he could, and he’d almost gathered his two hundred nuts and was dreaming of that Juicy when, all of the sudden, he made a bad leap, lost his footing, and dropped his bag.  It fell far down to the ground below him.  The nuts scattered and rolled all over.

                [Coming out from under fallen trees and thorn bushes, chipmunks attacked! With evil giggles, they seized the nuts, the product of all his hard work.  “No! You can’t take those!” Squirrel screamed. 

                As nut after nut was stolen, Squirrel watched the calamity from above.  It had taken him a moment to regain his balance.  Now that he had his footing again, Squirrel scampered down the tree trunk, shouting, “Stop!  Those are mine!  Stop nasty villains! Thieves!”

                “Smelly butthead!” a chipmunk yelled back.  Then he laughed, “Hahahaha” and ran off with the rest of his companions. 

                Squirrel chased after them, but he soon lost sight of all of the rascals.  Plus, he was so hungry.  He didn’t have any more strength left in him to track down the nasty critters.]

                How he despised chipmunks!  They were the most obnoxious creatures in the whole world.

                Too tired and too hungry to prolong his labors, Squirrel found Head Squirrel and gave him back the sack.  “I’m sorry,” he said.  “Chipmunks stole all my nuts.”

                Head Squirrel shook his head.  “Then I can’t reward you.  Come back tomorrow.”

                Worn out, Squirrel ventured to find Mouse at Rabbit’s Cool Down.  She waited, looking pretty with a flower in her ear. 

                “It’s getting so late, I almost thought you weren’t coming.” 

                Squirrel shrugged his shoulders and said, “Chipmunks stole all my nuts today.”

                “Oh.  I’m sorry!” she said.  “Let me get us some drinks.  Maybe that will make you feel better.”

                The Raspberry Juicy was delicious and refreshing, but as Mouse chattered about her day, all Squirrel could think about was how comfortable and cozy his nest sounded.  This day had tuckered him out.  And nothing good had come out of it.  He just wanted to sleep.  Finally, Mouse got frustrated and said, “You aren’t even listening to me.  I’ll find someone else to hang out with.”  She scampered off.

                Frustrated and exhausted, Squirrel headed home.  On his way there, Squirrel passed by the home of Mole’s family.  Squirrel’s family was there as well.  They were having a party, and no one had invited him.  Mole’s treasure turned out to be a large golden coin that he had exchanged with Goose for some food.  Squirrel’s younger brother had helped him get it out, which was why the Squirrel family was there.

                Depressed that Mole had left him out, Squirrel returned home, prepared for bed, and rolled up in his nest high in the tree.  What a miserable day he’d had.  He would have to do something to make tomorrow better. 

                He would start by getting up early and eating breakfast with his family—that is if Mama Squirrel made him any.  Then he would not only get a good meal, he’d have spent some time with his family.  If Mole needed help, he would have more compassion and help him.  When he gathered nuts, he would slow down and not be in a rush.  He would then have the extra nuts to share with his family and friends!  Finally, he wouldn’t be so grumpy if he met up with Mouse again.  He would make it up to her tomorrow so that she didn’t run off to hang out with someone else.    

Feeling repentant and hopeful for a better day tomorrow, Squirrel finally fell asleep.

Moral of the Story: Enjoy every moment so you don’t leave behind a pile of regrets.

What motivates people to change?

This is what I wrote for an example expository essay.  My students are working on writing a Person-by-Person essay about people who were motivated to change.  This isn't a star paper.  I discovered my writing skills are a little rusty!

Teens Motivated to Change Themselves and the World

In the book Real Kids, Real Stories, and Real Change, there are many stories about individuals who faced difficulties in their lives and were motivated to change.  Three of these people were Mawi Asgedom, Malika Sanders, and Izidor Runkel.  Each experienced challenges early in his or her life.  Mawi’s family moved from Ethiopia in the middle of a war and had to learn to survive in America.  Growing up in Alabama, Malika saw how she was not treated equally because of her color.  Finally, Izidor was given a second chance at life when an American couple adopted him from a Romanian orphanage.  Each of these people could have blamed their circumstances for their poor quality of life.  However, Mawi, Malika, and Izidor were motivated to change by their circumstances, not only making life better for themselves but for others as well.  

After fleeing war in Ethiopia, Mawi Asgedom faced many difficulties in America.  Two of these challenges included fights with those who bullied him and failure at school.  Wanting him to be successful in America, Mawi’s father encouraged him not to fight and to do well in school.  However, Mawi wasn’t motivated to succeed until his brother was killed.  When this happened, Mawi realized how precious life was and decided to change.  In order to do better, Mawi began to work harder in school.  As a result, he did well in high school, got a scholarship to Harvard, and later spoke at graduation.  Afterwards, Mawi became a motivational speaker, using his own experiences to inspire others.  Learning the value of life from his brother’s death, Mawi was motivated to change and is now helping others succeed. 

The challenge Malika Sanders had to overcome in her life was racism.  She grew up in a town where the mayor was racist and where the school segregated students into advanced and remedial classes based on color.  When she was young, Malika wanted to stand up against inequality.  This desire gave her the motivation to change both her school and her town.  She organized efforts that not only changed how students were placed in classes at school, but also succeeded at sending the mayor out of power.  Now, because of Malika’s motivation to change, students are placed in classes according to ability, and democracy is stronger for everyone in her town of Selma, Alabama.

As an orphan, Izidor Runkel struggled to overcome the negative effects of living in a Romanian orphanage.  There he faced neglect, unsanitary conditions, abuse, and the deaths of his friends.  When he was adopted by an American couple, a lot changed for Izidor.  However, things didn’t get better right away for Izidor.  He had a hard time trusting his new parents and also had to go through six operations to fix his crippled leg. However, he finally accepted their love and persevered through the operations that allowed him to walk again.  Recognizing how his parents had given him a chance at a happy life, at fifteen, Izidor began efforts to help other orphans in Romania by speaking across America to make others aware of the orphan’s plight.  He eventually moved back to Romania to be able to help the orphans even better.  Izidor overcame the difficulties of his own life, not allowing the challenges of his past to keep him down, and then worked to ensure the happiness of all the orphans he left behind. 

Throughout the world, people grow up in difficult circumstances.  Mawi, Izidor, and Malika each faced problems from a young age and could have remained in their harsh environments, or, at the least, blamed their unhappiness on them.  However, all three were motivated to change.  Mawi was motivated by the death of his brother. Malika was motivated by the inequality in her school.  Izidor was motivated when he recognized the gift of life his adopted parents had given him.  All three were able to create a better life for themselves.  As they did so, they recognized that others still lived in those same harsh circumstances that they once lived in.  Recognizing that change can happen, they didn’t stop at change for themselves but continued doing what they could to make life better for others.

Books I want to read this summer

The Gray Wolf Throne by Cinda Chima Williams
The Glass Swallow by Julia Golding
Forging the Sword by Hilari Bell
...
let's start there

QAR: Practice in Writing Questions

For "The House in the Wood" which appears in "The Pink Fairy Book":

The questions I came up with were:
Right There: What type of animals did the old man have?
Think and Search: What makes the third daughter different from her sisters?
Author & Me: Why should we be kind not only to people but also to animals?
On My Own: Why would a wicked witch curse a prince?

For "Uraschimataro and the Turtle" which appears in "The Pink Fairy Book":
Right There: How many years had Uraschimataro been gone?
Think and Search: Why did the princess not want Uraschimataro to leave?  Why did he leave?
Author & Me: What things sometimes keeps someone from keeping a promise?
On My Own: What would it be like to find a palace under the sea?

Writing Prompt: The Program

Five minute write:


Clarence opened the program and scanned through the names to find Jared's.  A sick feeling settled in his stomach when he saw that his brother's name was towards the end.  He glanced up at the clock.  It was almost seven already, and he was supposed to meet Nancy at 7:30.  But he'd promised Jared he would come to this.  He'd forgotten when he set up the date for Nancy. And when he realized there was a conflict, he hoped that Jared would be one of the first ones in the recital.  Then he could do both.  But...it didn't seem like there was the time.  Maybe he could talk to Jared's teacher and convince him to put Jared first!  But that was an unlikely proposal because the instructor was now getting up to welcome everyone.  So either he stood up Jared, or called Nancy and canceled the date.  
He'd much rather go out with Nancy then sit through two hours of violin and piano.  
Jared sneaked in and sat by him.  "Great you made it!  I was almost worried I wasn't going to."